Faramir’s Curse

By Liathain, Blodwyn and Cerridwen

A humourous song making light-hearted jest at the expense of Faramir – who was one of Albion’s best loved heroes around the turn of the century. A loyal and stalwart member of the Harts faction and firm supporter of Queen Elspeth Pendragon, Faramir was never one to take himself too seriously and those who knew him assure us that he appreciated the jest.

Of all of the heroes of Albion

Renowned in the legends of far and near

There’s no one so valiant, heroic or strong

As the noble magnificent Faramir

Faramir, oh Faramir, you battle monsters scary

Faramir, oh Faramir, your cloak is large and hairy

Faramir, oh Faramir, you wade through fields of gore

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore

Bold Faramir’s life is not easy

There’s a curse that he’s had all his life

To wake the unliving to stalk o’er the land

And generate trouble and strife

Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re not a necromancer

Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re quite a wicked dancer

Faramir, oh Faramir, brave knight from days of yore

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore

Faramir’s not necromantic

We’d hate you becoming misled

He really is perfectly pleasant

But he snores fit to wake the undead

Faramir, oh Faramir, your sinuses are blocked

Faramir, oh Faramir, your bedroom should be locked

Faramir, oh Faramir, some ghouls are at your door

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore

Noble are the causes he’s fought for

And many the charges he’s led

We’re grateful he’s so dedicated

Or a zombie might bite off my head…

Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re dexterous and quick

Faramir, oh Faramir, you have a big pink stick

Faramir, oh Faramir, the land needs no one more

But Faramir, for goodness sake, we wish you didn’t snore