An Urchin’s Forgery

Fram Ye auwdee Awbiown Scryb ov nowt an meshure; Syr Onist Gef de Nobston ve Ferd
Spring 486…

An’ lo woz vere a grayt cownsil ov awl vose ov nowt an’ import wot ‘ad been lookin afta ve Hhairs an’
Graysis ov va fayr land ov Awbione. Forre a tyme ‘ad cum wair troofs wud be mayd nown too vose ov
Nobiwi’ee.

An’ vus spayk Arfer King ov kings, ov PenDragin Lyn, an grayt woz is cowntinayn…caaninan…ee loookt
wewl seeriarse:

“Aye laydees an genil fowk,’ spayk va King, Salooin ve gavverd Roy Al Cor wiv is pynt ov grayvee.

“Tis cum ta mai attenshun abayt a famillee naymd Cultree, an’ ow fowk ar wisprin ov a lineeij”

Is majistee took a mawmen ta stair inta va distins, ‘is dark curlee air blowin soflee in va breez.

“‘Tis pish an twaddle aye tell thee! Cultree dyd oot alang me faartha’s tym an’ nowts coom fram them
sins. Mors tha pitee! An fowks oo sey ovawys noo noofin!”

Ver woz a bi ova tudoo from ve assimballd Nobs an’ a wewspokin cri ov ‘cum agayn?’

Takin’ a stahhns, Is Royawlnis hecksplynd:

“Cultree iz aye red ‘errin now less! ”Tis a sayn fer vose inna noo, vat ve speeka noos
Noofin abayt Hhairs or Graysis. Bot we shall keep vis Cultree nonsens alyv so we can thro ar enemees
off gaaard! Wot sey yer Masta Wizard?”

An ve grayt sayj ov Awbiown lorr ajustid is massiv poynteet aa an spake

“Sure, T’will be graynd so t’will”

An vere woz smuch rejoysin! So endif vis istorycl nowt.