Mistress Culpeper’s Modern Albione Etiquette

Mistress Culpeper,

In the sometimes unavoidable circumstance that I need to, should I wait until my guests are enjoying an after-dinner digestif to poison them?

I feel instinctively that, as I need to despatch them of their mortal coils, I should at least provide them with a slap up meal first. However, I can’t help but feel that to do so would be a powerful waste of good food and drink, which in itself should be a crime. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Yours,

Stumped at Supper

Dear Stumped,

Just because one is faced with the distasteful task of having to despatch an individual from this plane to their ancestor does not mean under any circumstances that any expense should be spared in entertaining them first.

If one invites a guest for supper, of course one should provide them with the very finest. To do otherwise would be disrespectful to them and shameful for you.

One would not like to think that the poor unfortunate deceased is destined to spend eternity with their ancestor thinking anything but the best of your hospitality.

Yours,

Mistress J. Culpeper