Faramir’s Curse

by Liathain, Blodwyn and Cerridwen

Of all of the heroes of Albion

Renowned in the legends of far and near

There’s no one so valiant, heroic or strong

As the noble magnificent Faramir
Faramir, oh Faramir, you battle monsters scary

Faramir, oh Faramir, your cloak is large and hairy

Faramir, oh Faramir, you wade through fields of gore

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore
Bold Faramir’s life is not easy

There’s a curse that he’s had all his life

To wake the unliving to stalk o’er the land

And generate trouble and strife
Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re not a necromancer

Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re quite a wicked dancer

Faramir, oh Faramir, brave knight from days of yore

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore
Faramir’s not necromantic

We’d hate you becoming misled

He really is perfectly pleasant

But he snores fit to wake the undead
Faramir, oh Faramir, your sinuses are blocked

Faramir, oh Faramir, your bedroom should be locked

Faramir, oh Faramir, some ghouls are at your door

But Faramir, dear Faramir, I wish you didn’t snore
Noble are the causes he’s fought for

And many the charges he’s led

We’re grateful he’s so dedicated

Or a zombie might bite off my head…
Faramir, oh Faramir, you’re dexterous and quick

Faramir, oh Faramir, you have a big pink stick

Faramir, oh Faramir, the land needs no one more

But Faramir, for goodness sake, we wish you didn’t snore