Tease Agony Aunt Column with Quex

Hello readers. This is Quex here, everyone’s
favourite greenskin Hart.
When I heard Mr Morgan was starting up a
newspaper I thought “Right!”, I thought. “This
will be a fine place to get some more of my
stirring orcish poetry published to reach a
wider audience and further the cause of urukh
liberation”, I thought.
But when I asked Mr Morgan how many
poems of mine he’d like for the first issue, he
said a really rude word. And when I said “Don’t
you want me in your paper then, Mr Morgan?”
he said another one. But then he relented,
because Mr Morgan is a noble and generous
man, and said I could do an agony aunt
column. Well, I said to him, that should be
right up my alley.
So if you have any aunts that you don’t like,
and that you want me to come round and
inflict agony on, just leave their name and
address at the editorial office and I’ll report
back in the next issue on what I did to them.
Reader anonymity is guaranteed but we regret
that we cannot return any aunts submitted for
agony treatment.
My office, now, Quex. Bring spider webs. – KM.