Cathayan Take-away!

Extraordinary scenes took place at the Great
Erdrejan Fayre, and indeed across Albion and
the Heartlands as the insidious Cathayan
menace upped their incursions against us.
On the Saturday of the Fayre, a sizeable
Cathayan force appeared, accompanied by
nothing less than a dragon! (Note, this was one
of those silly foreign snakey-dragons, not the
big winged lizards that we all know and love.
Evidently the Cathayans attempted to make
their own cheaper, mass produced dragons
after stealing the idea from the Heartlands).
This wrought significant harm upon the field,
causing multiple casualties from different
factions. Your humble reporter was present
himself, before wisely and bravely deciding that
‘This is way the *expletive deleted* out of my
pay grade’ and boldly advancing backwards to
protect the Cream Tease and Harts Camp from
any flanking raids.
Multiple Albiones were lost in the struggle,
sadly including Skeg, the shirtless berserker of
eternally peeling skin. Your correspondent was
present in the melee crush next to him when he
uttered his last words- ‘I’m going to stick my
dag up that lizard’s bloody arse’. Skeg was
shortly thereafter swallowed by the beast,
perhaps ultimately achieving his goal even if
from the other direction.. A true Albion soul,
dead and gone- and a massive loss to his
friends, family and the stockholders of the
Albion Aftersun Company (a subsidiary of the
Mackintash trading collective).
Shortly thereafter, the Dragon itself was
despatched with the use of a magical venom-
showing that it was indeed a cheap far-eastern
knockoff of our own much better flying fiery
More shock news was to come on the Sunday,
when the Mackintash trading collective came
under direct attack from Cathayan infiltrators
and their supporters- both in the field, where the
Cream Tease was besieged by thugs, and at its
other locations throughout Albion. In particular
the company’s current headquarters in Warwick
was sorely hit, with company director,
Whoremaster General and all-round good egg
Karl Morgan leading an emergency response to
investigate. At time of going to press, the results
of this herculean exemplar and his
investigations/purges are yet to be known, but if
I was a cathayan infiltrator I’d be quaking in my
silly conical hat and silk dressing gown..
In Memoriam, Rod Skjegget, or ‘Skeg’ – the
fearless (and shirtless) hero of Albion