Berzerka’s report of visiting the Seven Sisters on campaign

by Berzerka, Black Orc BossNob of Squad-D.

A few months befor me and Plyerz left for Hartz lands me and Mayhem ‘had attended a Mauritanian dwarven festival called the Barry-tok festival, there had been loadz of fingz going on, both me and Mayhem had been visited by Dwarf ancestors in our dreamz, Mayhem challenged somewun for a fight to the deff and many uvver entertaining fingz; when we were at the festival we bumped into Pebble who is the WarNob of the Dragon faction and wun of her boyz from the Dwarfs of Borthawr (a well fighty groop of dwarfs).

So Pebble sez to uz “Oi oi boyz, der is this unliving Ogre lich who is stompin round the landz of Albion, and uz from the DOB are gunna go an help the Hartz kikk itz teef in – yoo shud come along.”

Well we like the chance to test our kombat skillz out against a powerful enemy so I agreed, unfortunately Mayhem was stressing about is weddin and wot we were planning on doing to im on the stagging night, but Plyerz was taking a rare brake from countin is loot and addin up all the numberz and fingz so ‘ee grabbed is shield and came along with me. Spaff wazzn’t able to come with uz but ‘ee at leest sent uz off to the tranzport circul, I figured that we’d work out how to get bakk later.

Friday

I had hoped that we wud hukk up with the dwarfs befor we went to meet the Hartz fakshun, since I had herd dere was wunce some bad blud between the Hartz and the Lionz (all a bit befor my time, but I know ow sum of dese pinkskinz like to old onto grudgez), so I was oping that the dwarfs wud introduce uz to hooever dey knew; unfortunately I had mistimed our tranzport (counting anyfing, even minits was nevva my strong point) and we turned up a lot befor dem. Me an Plyerz got a few funny lukks when we arrived, at furst I fort it was because of this bad blud fing (since I had my Lionz military sash on my belt az uzual) but was told later by dere BossNob (called the Regent apparently) that it was because Albion did not see many greenskinz.

Dere was this pinkskin female wearing lotz of shiny, shiny armour who kept givin me the stink-eye az we were standin about waitin for the dwarfs, rememberin my military diplomacy I did not make an ishoo of it; eventually she stomped over and gave me a look like I was sumfink stuck to er boot and asked me who I was reportin to.

Aving had quite enuff by this point I told er that I was not reportin to anywun, and flappin about how everywun who waz supposed to be dere shud be reportin to somewun she bustled off to get somewun for uz to report to (at this point I fort it was not ard to see why peepul weren’t queuing up to elp dem) and kame bakk with dere Regent. the Hartz regent was much more reezonable and, wen we told im we were Lionz he seemed surprized and furst but sedd he was appy to have assistance, apparently ee had done a lot of wurk with ex-KingNob Hengist to help heal the wounds between the two fakshunz. Finking about it I kannot blame the female (who later turned out to be well fighty and was good to chop enemiez down besidez) for being a bit twitchy, I suppose if Lantia was bein attakked by unlivingz and two angry lukkin warriorz turned up I wudd be a bit suspicious.

We had to walk for milez to get to an area near this village where we were stayin, smashin froo treez and climbing up mudslidez and stuff (although I had to be elped up at leest wun by wun of the BigNobz from the Dragunz called Kael, Plyerz and sum uvver peepul) like trailz that were reely not made for big strappin greenskinz like myself. All the villagerz and localz seemed a bit weird and strange, we met a farmer who told uz that he plowed his feeldz with a sword and uvver odd peepul (that dodgy git Plyerz was tryin to sell im ash from the volcano for is farm) – it was gudd to see sum familiar facez from uvver landz tho like Tiny from the Tribe and the dwarfs.

Saturday

On the sekond day of the kampaign we were attakked by dese fingz that the Hartz kalled Marry-o-nets, puppet like fingz that seemed to be konnected to this magickal item that the Hartz had that was able to heel lotz of peepul at wunce but sumfink about how it was used made those fingz appear, I didn’t reely understand exactly ow it workz because weerdboy stuff is not reely my fing, i’m sur if Spaff had been dere he wudd have understud it better.

Dere was also an attakk wen dese giant ant fingz kept coming out of this nest because somewun (I expect wun of the villagerz) had been pokin around near it, by the time I had trudge up the big hill to where the nest was the smaller fasta warriorz near me had alreddy delt with it.

During the day I was introduced to annuvver one of the Hartz WarNobs, a pinkskin kalled Kuffbert, ee was a bit quiter near the WarNobz that I am uzed to, but ee had some gudd ideez about how and where to fight and was well worth listening to in all of the fighting that we were doing during the day. At is request we mostly switched to fightin defensively to help contain our enemiez and protect those less fighty peepulz from attakk. It furst became noticable on this day that the Hartz were had far less heeling power than the Lionz normully bring to a kampaign, although I do not know if this was usual or if dey were just missing sum peepul; wen me and Plyerz were asked if we kud heel it was not a gudd sign, nor was the look of joy on dere facez when we sedd “no, but we kan bandage and bolt peepul back togevva.”

In wun of the kombatz I tukk several blowz to the hedd and, to save the Hartz dwindling heeling power myself and Plyerz trekked bakk to our original base-kamp so that I kudd fetch my war-jaw for additional protekshun for me edd. It was a jurney of many milez and tukk uz a long time, wen we got bakk it appeared that there had been a kouple mor attakks and the dwarfs of Borthawr had delt with an evil dwarf mage that we had herd had been menacing the area.

Speekin of the Dwarfs of Borthawr, dey were well fighty and dey were all using big polearms, so dey put me and Plyerz in frunt of them to carry on fightin defensively and gettin a few likks in where we kudd while they fought over our sheeldz using dere big polearm; it wurked so well that we were told all of our orderz wud be passed down through a dwarf called Kazak since ee seemed to speek mor of our kind of language. Kazak, Dorri, Muradin and Pebble were all well tasty in kombat and it was gudd to fight beside (well, infrunt of) dem with few of the creaturez that attakked uz being able to stand up to a kombat formayshun that Dorri dubbed “the Devastator.”

We also met annuvver bloo troll, I had only seen was Jevak who is a member of the Kompany of the Brave and Foolish who was bloo befor, apparently this wun was a sea troll who had been thrown up on land by the last catalysm. It seemz that greenskinz kum in mor shapez and sizes near I realized, but he seemed like an interestin sort and was annuvver wun who was well handy in a fight with a big pole.

The Hartz Regent had sustained sum sort of injury to iz eye and stepped down to allow a new leeder to step up, altho I beleev that later the new leeder was annuvver name that was added to the Hartz growin list of peepul who had walked off the spiral; perhapz because of this, the Hartz kommand decided that we wudd fall bakk to the original base-kamp, regroop and then hedd out the next day to attakk the Lich. On our way bakk we were attakked by unliving kreeturs that seemed to be able to stop peepul moving and eeven turn peepul to stone.

Sunday

On the last day we hedding bakk to the forwud stagin area, tranzporting in, uz hevvies forming the furst wave; soon az we arrived we pushed out of the circul following our orderz from Kuffbert and kame under attakk from unliving and strange construkts that were being uzed by the lich; we were able to hold dem bakk allowing the uvver partiez to ‘port in and re-inforce our position, we then started to push out and for every Hart that had walked off the Spiral tryin to help the local villagers we killed half a dozen of the unliving, laying a path of bonez for the onoured dedd to follow to the great battul in the sky. Wun of the unlivingz began performing sum sort of tranzport rite and hurled itz troopz in our way to stop uz getting dere in time, a party followed the unliving (following itz tranzport trail) and dey returned a few momentz later warning uz to prepare ourselvez that the Lich was in pursuit with itz vanguard of unliving troopz.

the Ogre lich appeared on wun flank, summuning itz unliving troopz from the shadowz and throwing dem into the attakk while he began smashin all around him with is magiks, me and Plyerz were sum of the furst to leep on im and started smashing about the Olog with our silver wepponz but we were doing nuffink since ee kept yoozing evil magiks to repair is rotting body. It was about this time that I spotted that a number of Hartz were down and that no-one was defending dem from the onrushin ordez of orrible unliving that continued to swarm our position, me and Plyerz broke off our attakk on the Lich (leaving it to those mor kapable of damaging it) and moved to elp defend healerz, even using our own small abilities to bandage up sum peepul to stop dem from bleedin to deff.

Eventually the Lich was killed and the Hartz fanked all who at come to dere aid, chekking that dere was no-one lying dying me and Plyerz spotted that Tiny was doin a transport ritual to take him bakk to a kastle in Viperz landz so we jumped in the tranzport circul and went with him and from dere we made our way bakk to Ontarix.
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